tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479490796163692922012-02-12T21:33:10.177-06:00Sierrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02988621564696165343noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-547949079616369292.post-79437828865500970912011-12-21T05:27:00.001-06:002012-02-12T00:27:53.580-06:00It seems I live in a constant state of stress. If it's not money, it's work. If its not work, it's family. If it's not family, it's depression. The list goes on.<br /><br />Lately it's been keeping me awake at night. Like right now. I can't shut my mind off. I worry about whether or not our plans will work out. I worry if we'll be able to pay all our bills with me not really working. I wonder and worry what will happen to my yet-to-be-born niece or nephew. Will s/he have a stable home? Will my family have to go to court to have the right to see him/her? This is assuming s/he is actually born despite the mom's stupid and selfish acts. I don't think I even want kids, but the whole situation makes me want to save that baby and give it a loving and stable home. We don't have much money, but love abounds. <br /><br />We want to move next month. I don't know if that will happen. I don't feel like we can stay here. The Ozarks is a place with no hope or future for us, and we don't like it here. "For everything there is a season..." and I feel like this one is over. It's such a tough economy right now, but Springfield doesn't hold much hope for us, bad economy or not. It's a tough spot to be in when you feel like you don't belong but you don't know how or what will finally change your situation. <br /><br />I feel let down by the Church. As a whole. We attended a church for over six months, had numerous meals with the pastor, small group with other church goers...and not a single word from any of them since we stopped attending. That's not what church should be. We shouldn't just be butts that fill seats. I really feel like the Church is failing at being the Body of Christ. On the whole. It's disappointing and I have no desire right now to have anything to do with organized Christianity. That doesn't change my beliefs or my God. It just means I don't want anything to do with walking into a building where people put on their Sunday faces and act like you're their next best friend. Thanks, but I'll pass. <br /><br />I just sort of feel discontent. I don't like feeling this way. I wish someone would save me from crazy, stressful, messed up life. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/547949079616369292-7943782886550097091?l=inspiraamor.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Sierrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02988621564696165343noreply@blogger.com0